Yoruba customs
The Yoruba traditional wedding
A Yoruba marriage joins two families, not just two people. That is why it has stages, why the elders are asked rather than told, and why the celebration is large. Here is how the whole thing runs — as it was set down in 1921, and as it is kept today.
The three stages
“Where all things are equal and normal, there are three stages to be observed”: an early intimation, a formal betrothal, and the marriage. Every Yoruba wedding today is still built on that skeleton.
1 Intimation — the introduction
Then (1921). The women of a family quietly sought out a suitable bride; the young people were helped to become acquainted, and the girl’s own liking and her parents’ consent decided the matter.
Now. The ìmọ̀ràn ẹbí — the groom’s family formally visits the bride’s family to ask. Kola is shared, intentions are declared in proverbs, and the bride is asked before everyone.
2 Ìsíhùn — the engagement
Then (1921). The “formal consent”: a night gathering of both families, kola nuts split and shared so that every guest became a witness, then the àna — betrothal gifts to the bride’s parents.
Now. The day most people mean by “the traditional wedding”: letters read, the ìdọ̀bálẹ̀ prostration, the ẹrù ìyàwó presented, rings exchanged, and the alága leading it all.
3 Ìgbéyàwó — the wedding day
Then (1921). The bride, veiled in a thin white cloth, was brought by night with drumming and singing to the groom’s compound, welcomed at the gate, and — the word itself — carried in.
Now. The church service or registry, then the reception: the couple’s grand entrance behind talking drums, spraying, and the old welcome living on in how the bride is received.
The ẹrù ìyàwó — and what each gift says
The engagement list comes from the bride’s family, and no two are identical. What is constant is that every item means something:
- Obì àbàtà (kola nuts)
- Witness, welcome and long life — the essential seal of every Yoruba agreement.
- Orógbó (bitter kola)
- Old age together — “k’ẹ́ gbó, k’ẹ́ tọ́.”
- Ataare (alligator pepper)
- A house full of children and vigour.
- Iṣu (yams)
- Provision — the groom can feed a family.
- Oyin (honey), iyọ̀ (salt)
- Sweetness in the home; a life that never goes flat.
- Aṣọ òkè and a packed suitcase
- A fine wrapper, a covering cloth and a head tie — he will clothe her.
- Owó orí (bride price)
- A token “according to his ability” — and in very many families, graciously returned.
Whatever else varies, the kola nuts of both kinds and the alligator pepper are invariable and essential.
What to wear
The groom
- Agbádá
- the grand flowing outer gown — the garment of honour
- Bùbá
- the soft under-tunic
- Ṣòkòtò
- the matching trousers
- Fìlà
- the cap — the abetí ajá is the classic style
- Ìlẹ̀kẹ̀ iyùn
- coral beads at the neck and wrist
The bride
- Gèlè
- the head-tie, sculpted tall and proud — book a professional tier
- Bùbá
- the blouse
- Ìró
- the wrapper, wound and tucked at the waist
- Ìpèlé
- the sash over the shoulder or arm, matching the ìró
- Ìlẹ̀kẹ̀ iyùn
- coral at the neck, wrists and ears — layered generously
The cloth of weddings is aṣọ òkè — the narrow-loom cloth woven in Yorubaland for centuries. Its three classic types are sányán (pale silk-beige, “the father of cloths”), àlàárì (deep crimson) and ẹtù (indigo-blue, the cloth of elders). Guests wear aṣọ ẹbí, the family cloth, so one glance tells you who belongs to whom.
Common questions
What are the three stages of a Yoruba traditional wedding?
The early intimation — the introduction — then the engagement or formal consent (ìsíhùn, today’s ìdána — the ceremony most people call “the traditional wedding”), and the wedding day itself (ìgbéyàwó). The order matters more than the size of any one of them.
What is the ẹrù ìyàwó?
The bridal gifts presented by the groom’s family at the engagement. The list comes from the bride’s family a few weeks beforehand and varies by family and town, but kola nuts, bitter kola and alligator pepper are invariable, and every item on it means something.
What does the groom wear to a Yoruba traditional wedding?
Agbádá — the grand flowing outer gown — over a bùbá tunic and ṣòkòtò trousers, with a fìlà cap and coral beads. A Yoruba man at his own traditional wedding dresses as a Yoruba: not a suit, and not the traditional dress of another people.
What is aṣọ ẹbí?
“Family cloth” — the matching fabric each family and the couple’s friends wear, so one glance tells you who belongs to whom. Fabric should be distributed two to three months ahead, earlier still for guests in the diaspora.
Go deeper
- Read the source chapter free — Part I, Chapter VIII § (e) Marriage, in Samuel Johnson’s 1921 History of the Yorubas.
- Ìgbéyàwó — Marrying the Yoruba Way: our 31-page illustrated guide, with the day’s running order, a sample ẹrù ìyàwó list with quantities, the dos and don’ts and a planning checklist.
- Yoruba names and their meanings — for when the children come.
